Raging Fire

“Click!... Click!!” dying echoes of plastic hitting against the metal made him emotional. This wasn’t the first time, but it was different, a more soothing effect, with the cool breeze caressing his hair. He liked the fire, slowly burning its way through the paper and the burley tobacco, as he inhaled. He had promised himself to quit, but this was the last one. The fire still raged, far off, still visible, burning everything he once loved, wiping out all the beautiful memories, his friends, his family, his home. He liked heights, the feeling of being at the top, so he loved this place, but he didn’t know how he got here. He wasn’t worried, not in the least. If anything, he was relieved, of a huge burden. It was the right thing to do, or so he told himself.
 “Click!... Click!!” It was a clear autumn morning, with a few distant cars buzzing on and off. “When you are in college you have to enjoy such things,” she told him long ago, and so he was out on a stroll. He was energized, despite being awake for last 40 hours. “It is finally done, I guess I’ll be pretty famous now.” he said as he lit his first cigarette in a few months. He had been busy, working hard to finish his masterpiece. Even if he was a genius, it was a pretty difficult thing to accomplish, almost a miracle. He couldn’t imagine how she must have felt when he told her that she will live. Yu was dying, since everyone they consulted told them so, “there is no cure for it.”
She was all he had, ever since he came to Hong Kong, a year ago, when his family died in a terrorist attack. “If only he had been there, for celebrating his own graduation, then he won’t be alone,” he told himself, as he packed his stuff to leave Mumbai. He trashed everything, burnt everything that could fit in a municipal container, and left, to be alone, to repent for his negligence, his cold attitude, his life. “You seem new here, let me show you around.” her cheerful smile made his resolved heart melt in a second. She cared, and made his life bearable. He decided to be mediocre, never to achieve anything, never to celebrate, and she supported him, knowing that it was a waste. He could have attended a med school anywhere in the world, but he holed himself in this unknown school, just to fulfill his promise to his mom. He smoked a lot, more after he started living here, even more in restricted places, looking for trouble, looking for punishment, but she got him out every single time. Sometimes, he was afraid that he didn’t deserve this happiness, but that bright smile on the pale face lit by the moonlight, or the flowing hair in warm summer breeze made it all seem trivial. And one of those days, she didn’t show up. She had fainted in her classroom and had to be taken for a hospital visit, the first of a seemingly endless succession of treatments. That is when he decided to fight and take back what belonged to him.
No one had seen him work even half as hard. It was difficult to convince the dean, but he caved in after seeing his record, to let him work on a pet project. No one had the slightest idea how to splice a DNA, not unexpected though, but he pulled through days, and weeks, and months, and years, persevered in face of constant failure, and finally managed to find a way to systematically correct each and every cell in her body. His research was paying for itself, since each accepted paper and every intelligent visitor brought in more money. This also provided him the freedom to explore new horizons, with the huge arsenal of instruments he got his hands on. He tested on all kind of animals, observed them, but she was to be his first human experiment. And finally, when there was not even the slightest hope of an accepted treatment, he reluctantly agreed to treat her. After checking in everything – emergency kit, food, water – he sealed himself shut for experimenting on the one person he needed the most. Everything went smoothly, to his surprise, against all his experiences so far. She woke up right away; her pale ruffled face glowed with the same smile he loved. “Too perfect!” he thought, as he chatted to her about everything he did in last 36 hours, and a planned holiday in Macau, and how he burnt the rug while cooking and replaced it without her knowing, and some other stuff.
He went out after what felt like eternity, went out in the world again. “Let’s celebrate,” she said “Campus 7-11 have a nice strawberry cheesecake.”  While at it, he also bought some nice cigarettes for a personal celebration of his triumph over god. During research, he had come across an amazing way to remodel bodies. It was simple actually; tremendously increase the regeneration rate of cells, and controlling slowly mutating cells to create superior features. Knowing the limits of human body, he had no other choice to make Yu live as long as him after the treatment. It was his gift for everything she meant to him. No one knew about this since human modification is still prohibited. “Now, they will know and they will see,” he thought. He had already decided that once this was over, he would hand over the technology to international defense organizations, to carry out a vendetta on terrorism on his behalf. And he was smart enough to know that this will put him in a whole different league of scientists. “Dreams do come true,” he mumbled, watching the sunrise. She was obviously sleeping and it was a couple hours until her next check up, so he went back to their home, filled with piles of trash by now. He tried to remember the last time he cleaned, but failed and then, dozed off even before entering the bedroom, crashing to the floor, right through the cobwebs, making a huge cloud of dust which eventually settled right back on him.
It was a huge ballroom, filled with creatures right out of a dystopian science fiction. And there was a familiar music playing as he danced with Yu. Her eyes were slightly bigger now, well so were some other parts, but it made her all the more remarkable. A huge military man came up to him, shook his hand as he praised him. “Thud, thud, thud...” he saw huge red splatters on the colonel’s suit, he turned to look as Yu poured out a semi-automatic rifle on the only human in the party. “What did I do wrong.....” as he died; and woke up to find the hospital emergency staff and his neighbors in his face. They rushed him out, as he came to realize that they had broken in. Seeing his phone filled with messages removed the last doubts that the disaster has actually happened. He had missed the check up, and the three after that. The nurse told him Yu was psychotic, and chomped off a patients thumb. Few others got hurt while isolating her from general population, and there was huge uproar in the facility. He knew he should have kept her in observation for a few more hours, but it wasn’t really the time for hindsight.
“Click!... Click!!” smoking in a hospital was prohibited, but who cares after being comatose for a few years. He distinctly remembered the moment when he drove past the countryside and just a few unrelated noises after that. He didn’t even care about other patients in the ward, he was brought here just a few hours ago, after waking up suddenly. “Don’t do that,” she said, “it hurts.” “I’ll be out in jiffy missy, been here for a damn long time. You take care.” The lighter fell from his hand and through the shooting pain, it took him a moment to realize that it was his thumb stuck in her teeth. Next moment he was on a cart going to another operating theatre, like deja vu. The hospital took the responsibility to reattach his thumb but he still wanted to yield a shovel on everything around him. He thought it was anger and it was justified, but it kept growing, until he began to drool and jumped on the first surgeon on his side, and soon, it was a bloodbath. There was this unbearable heat in the throat, water didn’t even register in his brain. He craved for human flesh, and blood. He had to be shot 5 times before he stopped moving. The whole place was quarantined after all the living victims developed similar symptoms.
He cried out “Zombies,” as he tried to explain to him why he cannot be allowed to enter. He was brought here by emergency staff, but now none of them had access to the building. All the authorities had been notified, staff and patients on unaffected floors were evacuated to the top floors, where they waited for the rescue chopper. Surprisingly, there was no media, even after an hour. He demanded to be taken to the lab where Yu was, the huge crowd waited outside the hospital, and more crowd brought in by the commotion. He, and the other locked out doctors, were instructed to cover it up as a routine fumigation. He was surprised that even after few hours of such a huge commotion, there was no sign of media vultures anywhere. Suddenly, a ambulance came through, and a tall man grabbed him as soon as the doors opened.
“You have created monsters.” He didn’t look like a doctor, but he was a professional. He explained, “The security guy told us the whole story from the beginning, and so we secured your sweetheart, the CCTV tapes and one of those dead zombies.” “All of them are dead, you understand, their bodies broke down under intense pressure created by your technology, everyone except your superhuman girlfriend. I give her a few hours.” said the doctor as they looked at her hideous and deteriorating body through the fibre glass. She no longer recognized him, didn’t answer even to his desperate cries, or the banging on the glass.
It was a matter of national security, a huge advance in bio warfare. All evidence was wiped off clean, no loose ends could be allowed. He was one big link, but losing such a huge asset was not affordable, especially since he had not published a single detail about the process, but just the cure for the disease. He was given a choice either to join them, or to spend life in an isolated dark cell for human experimentation and mass murder. But it was the least of his concerns right now. He agreed to all their demands, brought in his research, taught the process to the new co-workers with unreal clarity and vigor. He was tired, but he completed all the formalities, and followed all the orders to such an extent, that he was allowed to go out of the facility on the day he came in. He was dropped at his house, but he didn’t go in. He walked, letting his intuition carry him for the last time. The hospital was still burning, no loose ends, as he walked off the highest building, into the dark, silent pavement.

A short story

“I can do it, I am telling you.” But not a single person in the room appeared even remotely convinced by my confident proclamation. It was one of those normal days – going to school, a little classroom fight over something trivial, call from a concerned teacher about a small change in my personality, staying a little late after school for this girl I no longer remember, same old veggies in dinner, mom’s chiding while watching TV – the usual stuff. I hated it when people talked to me while watching my favourite show, but they did not care, so I stopped paying attention even during commercials. It was one of those ads, about this super-awesome hunt for smartest kid in the country, but I was the only one listening to one of the best quizmasters on the planet. Never had I experienced a more magnificent epiphany, an instantaneous realization of meaning of life. And it took a really long time to convince my family, even my brother, that I can be more than just a run-of-the-mill middle-schooler with mildly good grades. Still, it was the best thing I have ever done.

For the next decade, everything went like a fairy tale. I became the shining face of the family, even the city; they called me the child prodigy, next Einstein, and what not. All the cousins who were asked to stay away from me a few years ago, had to bear with insufferable torture over meaningless conflict of proud parents. All those dumb teachers started seeing a cute pet in what was once a wild animal, and so did the other first-row sycophants. Friends changed too, with all those nerd jokes and comments, showing slight hatred of the unfair treatment every now and then. It changed me, first I was proud, but slowly the enjoyment turned to embarrassment, so much that I had three fake personalities at hand, just to start a casual conversation at a high-school party. I still loved to ace the tests, even more so when I joined the coaching classes for university admission exams, I loved the awe struck faces when people heard who I was, and it kept me going. Well, until it all became meaningless, and I ended up as the drunk, homeless gambler, dying in this smelly alley, with other unwanted animals.

“You see, I had this beautiful angel that I treasured with my life. Unfortunately, I wasn’t good enough, and I failed.” I went on like usual. Marty listens to me, carefully, almost as if he understands me. We shared everything, food, bed, clothing, water, everything. He used to sit on my lap while I told him about the world, he alerted me if someone was unable to finish their pizza next door, kept me awake on the dark days with snow all around. The best thing I like is his awestruck face, which shows clear signs of understanding, like when I told him how I could hardly respond when my crush talked to me for the first time in high school, the awkward silence after her question, and how those were the best few minutes of my life. I haven’t seen any friends or family ever since I dropped out of college. The world lost meaning, the act wore me out, so I ran, as far away as I could, away from the lights, in to the darkest, deepest dungeons of the world, where no one would expect me to be.

It is Christmas next week. Every Christmas, I write to my brother, just the normal stuff like my job, my wife, how busy I am; he understands me. Never heard back, maybe he knows, or maybe he writes back to where I am supposed to be. Marty is sad these days, looks at me with those teary eyes, doesn’t wake me anymore. I know he knows that he is all alone, but still doesn’t lose hope. He even delivered my last mail, not so usual this time. Well, when you are dead, nothing is usual anymore. There is this new excitement, rekindled interest in learning to live, learning to interact with humans, and the fun in watching their awestruck faces. For the next few weeks, my family is gonna be so thrilled again.

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This is one of my first attempts at short stories, mainly due to a course, so all comments - ranging from constructive to outright demeaning are welcome. And everything in this story is fictional, bearing no resemblance whatsoever to anything, alive or dead. Anything that feels like someone you know, is definitely coincidental.

Something to think about...

You know the time when nothing makes sense... Not the one after 5 Johnnie Walker Black doubles, neither the one after getting dumped....Its gonna be a serious philosophical musing, specially addressed to "Forever Alone"...  What I am talking about is more like an instantaneous gust of objectivity, when everything turns into a socratic dialogue, as if world turns into a chick flick - people do and say shit that is unbearably annoying and repeats over and over again.. It is unlike omniscience, rather opposite i'd say, where smallest syntax can be interpreted infinitely, making this fractally blur in my mind.... you're never really asleep, and you're never really awake... On reminiscing, every single decision fails test for rationality.... Axioms of life, the very foundation of our value system reduces to a poor fiction, more useless than Windows service to check connection problems online, ie not only that it does not make sense, but you know that you know it is nonsense...

Let us begin with age old question - "Is it right to cheat on a test?" Ethically speaking 'no'... so if you cheat, you are immoral... what if it was an ethical test? You cheat, you are immoral, but you get good marks.... But doesn't good marks mean you are more moral then most mortals.... you see, there is an inherent fault... taking it a step further, what about an interview... every interview has a purpose and a vision for the applicants... now, is the purpose the stated one or is it to make the interviewer believe that it is the stated one? I somehow believe that the person who actually satisfies the stated criteria should get it... but, is the guy who'll invent fake stories and is glib enough to pull it off unworthy? Well, he didn't actually have the intended qualities... on the other hand, he had more drive, be it greed, need, determination or desperation... or may be his values rate this behavior correct... if we do not accept this guy, then interview was a failure... if we do, then the purpose was not correctly stated, but then there will appear this guy who invents fake stories and pretends about inventing fake stories and pretending about satisfying original purpose....

 First of all, how did it come to be like this? Technically, this is a classic example of game theory and psychology, where interviewer moves first and tells you his purpose... then you decide whether or not do you satisfy the purpose as per your value system and then  interviewer decided whether your expectation from the interviewer were correct or not... On thinking about it logically considering future implications, if interviewer has no way of finding out that you bluffed or he has no effect on you future, then you must fake satisfying the purpose even if you do not satisfy it literally - all scholarships and awards, and many job interviews come under this category.... but there are other like placement interviews where one should present what he truly is.... Then again, there is implicit assumption of perfect judgement.... Interviewer can have his personal biases, worst case when he himself is a bluffer... you'll say, ok I can handle that... but few iterations and the statement of purpose loses its purpose... then there is problem of finite time - to keep it simple, you can either practice cheating or excel in the purpose... moreover, more you cheat, the tougher it is to cheat next time... same is the problem with excelling... but for cheating, you need to improve to fool the interviewer even after the exam.... this will involve some sort of dexterity in the purpose itself... so the cheating system actually forces you to learn, so now overall you are better then you bizarro-self.... it is subclass of one of the best methods for self - "do or die"... How did we end up on a very respected and highly selective development methods by starting with a lie??

Now, discussing the above para itself... does the use of words like "bluff" represent my own beliefs or a Platonic "bluffness" or it is all between you and me.... Now discussing the last line, is there a Platonic "bluffnessness" corresponding to my/your "bluffness"? You see, its feels like living in Xeno's paradox...

And when I stop chasing the tortoise, I am immediately caught into wondering about the life.... like what is life? what is the purpose of life? is the purpose of life, life? is the purpose of life, finding the purpose of life??
Say I have a muffin in my hand.... do I eat it just cuz it tastes good? or do I keep it for later? or should I give it to hungry??? Now, let the muffin be enjoyment/happiness and hunger be a measure of effort/pain.... so it boils down to a showdown between hedonistic contentment and altruistic narcissism.... I want to make it clear that high and mighty deeds like cutting off my leg to feed the hungry do not even count as options for me... the only reason to give away a muffin is because giving it satisfies my ego more then it hurts my id. Is there an optimal solution?

Whatever it be, evolution is such a slow and inefficient process that useful traits for neanderthals still manifest thoroughly in our psyche... I believe we developed into a more probable setting then a more efficient setting for our development... moreover, our languages themselves seem to restrict domain of thought... But, will it be worthwhile to try to recreate the world from first abstract concept.... and who will do it?? I wont, because hedonism isn't against my belief, I can very well enjoy physical pleasures... you see, there is always this instinct to get the larger piece of the pie.... Just some food for thought... I really want your opinion on this one...

Knowing God!!

What can a satiated lazy bum do for leisure? I mean, having watched half a dozen sitcoms; relished the "awesomest" landscape (available on DC); got a headstart on the "to do" list, ie when I was supposed to study... now, with a free pass to feel good, what else can I possibly do.... so here I am, staring at my download manager, and wondering "why aren't there any miracles, when you need them the most".... In such difficult times, I summon the one guy who does everything I ask, only one which makes me feel that I am needed, that I am at the top of the world and my every command will be taken care of, like a genie.... yes, the task manager....

You know the moment when nothing else matters, when you wont even budge even if the rest of the Universe just vanished... the same feeling you get while watching your multiple downloads race like sperms to fill the scanty little space available in your computer... such out of body, spiritual experiences leave me dumbfounded, specially on a 250kbps connection, where time runs slow, and needs to be reconnected, just like strings interacting on a high dimensional brane..... this feeling, that you can end a process any time you want, and create new ones that oppress the old ones and unscrupulously reproduce until the system goes bankrupt... I am sure that God exists.... and he is enjoying every second of it... rather I believe, he is messing with us on each and every step, I would if I was.... every time we device a new experiment or theory, he adds a rung to the ladder instead of letting us set foot on firm ground... every new fundamental constant we find, he restarts his random number generator to create another one.... maybe he is just tossing coins to manipulate the universe, just sometimes using one with national emblem on both sides.... maybe at this very moment, when I am writing this post, he is busy changing his polynomials to fit the past observations, just to fuck us up in the future...

And just like that, its over... alas! a power cut... The gap between 100% and complete is so minuscule, yet so trepidating, specially on Windows, that I couldn't help but believe in divine intervention.... I'm sure, God is getting even with me for having divulged his schemes.... but when I think about it, I was anyway going to stop thinking as soon as download finished... does he want me to know what is he upto... I'm sure he is mocking me, saying "Do what you want, lowlife! you can never match me", just like a superset.... But you know, I like this... This is the type of God I'd respect; sadist, arrogant, patronising, and most important of all "hedonist".... and voila! its back... I guess either God is as dumb as a Kapil Sibbal, or else he is just too happy to have a shrewd sycophant like me for a subject.... I'd prefer latter, because prior version of my theory needs to many "Gandhi"s to bring world to the state it is currently in.... who gives a shit, I have my downloads, so I can finally find out what happened to Pablo Escobar..... why dont you go find some shit worth doing instead of reading musings of someone fixated on fucking "little less than half the world"...

Scientific Journalism Demystified

Scientific Journalism is a very exciting field, specially for people interested in science, but coming from a non-science background... In fact, without such guys, there wont be any excitement and the intriguing gap between science fiction and reality will show up... Till now, weak philisophical arguments like Anthropological Principle, or Copenhagen Interpretation have been used to explain the observed strength of Scientific-Journalism, and it has various names in various civilizations like Satan, Force, etc. Over the course of history, it has developed a religious stature, and has many devoted followers. The extent of the influence can be compared to Illuminati and the free Masons (it may be same as them); BBC, Discovery, etc and will continue to grow under great religious leaders and proponents like Rajnikant, Brian Greene, Michio Kaku, etc... I've researched pretty deep into the area, and after comparing each such report with textbook accounts, observing detailed HD videos, and I have found the Holy Grail of Scientific Journalism, which has been a mystery ever since the Prokaryotes appeared on Terra... I'll explain vital points through a thoroughly researched example, made with help of experts in my excellent unary team (from IITD)... Without any further ado, let me begin my Tryst with Scientific Journalism...

Poison running in our veins

According to a recent study by a group of researchers at IIT-Delhi, there has been a startling discovery about a supposedly harmless chemical named Dihydrogen Oxide. This is a fairly abundant species in our biosphere, but its harmful effects have never been studied in such detail, probably due to lack of adequate technology, and general lack of funding. It appears, in addition of causing global warming in gaseous state, it also supports production of other greenhouse gases like methane as a liquid medium. One of the major components of all alcoholic beverages, it is also a carrier of diseases like cholera, diarrhea, typhoid, hepatitis, etc. It is also known for its energy storing properties, being the most common fire-extinguisher, and also used in fuel cells, as well as first aid for skin burns.In solid form, it is used during 3rd degree torture and cooling beverages, and is an industrial coolant including nuclear power plants.

In household supply, its concentration is about 0.055 mole/ml, and the refreshing properties of a bath are supposedly attributed to this compound. "There have been speculations about its side effects, so we have reduced our bathing frequency in all the IITs" said a 2nd year student from IIT - Delhi, who also believes that people in all engineering colleges were aware of these effects long before the research. This is also the reason increasing affinity towards alcohol. A friend Sri (false name) said, "I've conditioned myself to drinking NEAT, to avoid ingesting even the slightest amount of this dreadful chemical." And then he vomitted out all the mess food, which is cooked in the water that comes from supply. "He is very sensitive to chemicals, and this happens once in a while." added his friend, who himself fainted next. Humanities department find it hard to believe that no one noticed it till now, and is planning to file an RTI, or may also go for a Satyagraha.

When senior scientists were asked for opinion, they all replied, "If you want to live, you better shut up." On condition of anonymity, Prof. X revealed that due to high availability and cheap recycling, dihydrogen oxide has been a major component of human diet since ancient civilizations came into existence. After more detailed studies by Sir Humphrey Davy, all the governments made a pact to never record or reveal this fact, and started using alcohol to reduce the effects on themselves. This is also the reason for high taxes on alcoholic products, as well as presence of alcoholic base in medicines. Our body has been habituated to the compund so much that, although it has to be injested, biomagnification has led to much more than 10% concentration in our bloodstream and body fluids. The colour of our planet as seen from space is also due to this highly versatile compund, which has about 10 phases known, and is impossible to remove from our biosystem......BANG...tn... tn... tn..." With this our telephonic conversation ended so we could not know more.

But the group is hopeful about finding a remedy soon. Ethanol is known to mix in it in all volumes, and can thus be excreted out from our body. Also, ethanol can serve as a substitute to dihydrogen oxide as a solvent, and a coolant. It has been suggested that everyday dosage of 100ml 100 proof ethanol content can improve social interactions, and also helps in reducing fear and anxiety.

More on this next time...

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As you can see, this article contains all the major contents of a scientific article by a journalist. Scientific Journalism shows us only the truth, exposes all the conspiracies, and also lets out the anarchy spread throughout the society. Sadly, some curious people who get inspired by Scientific articles, turn to trusted sources of learning more, thereby causing a knowledge imbalance, and get deluded into criticizing Scientific Journalism. But, they should know that answers to all the problems like Dark Energy, Teleportation, Time Travel, even Theory of Everything, etc already exist and have been hidden from the society. It is not because our understanding is limited, but because a wizard alien (most probably Bert) in the independence hall is trying to turn all worthy man into having sex with more than one woman, meanwhile his comrades are on their way to capture our planet and turns us into smurf-berried that could power the matrix... Get REAL!!!

© Mehul Kumar

Boredom...

Phew... getting better is difficult, even at being worse.... I never thought unblogging will be so difficult, I mean just building castles but not having any visitors can be really frustrating.... Only if I weren't so lazy, I might have fallen prey to HIV - Holiday Internship Virus.... I guess NIUS (No Internet for Undergraduate Students - courtesy Vipul Singh) also helped me keep away from jotting it down... Atleast I accomplished to least energy consuming target.... Everything else above my "well"...

All those days when I told myself, 'God, if only I had time, I'd do this for sure, something wothwhile...', were only to subdue my guilty conscience, and to curse the system; of course I knew, but before my subconscious could have seriously messed up stuff, I'd have been outta here... Everything was planned when suddenly out of nowhere came this 20% off without any *, and before I could realise my blueprints, my contract expires..... Why would u give me an eternity just after caning... Yes, I want to visit library, but wait, it'll be there even if I goof around for a while.... And now I am weared out, just to fall asleep the moment I set sail... poof!!! recess over, back to work.....

I am strictly against giving a sabbatical to lab-rats of Indian Education industry, specially when they come from "cell blocks with pc", bailed out for 73 days wtihout a parole bond.... No one even cares if I get vucked up, everyone on the inside is just like me, and everyone on the outside thinks I know my shit.... I mean, I was so bored that I thought I'd die.... It'd be rather crazy if I died of boredom... But, then I feel that I am one the few people who could actually do it.... For instance, if I was lazier, I'd not even take the trouble of thinking, and static universe won't be such a trouble after all... And if I was anymore interested in this world, then it would have been very diificult to stay dormant.... At a critical level of boredom, such people enter a bifurcation in realm of activity, where the governing parameter is laziness of course.... Even I am little prone to the second kind of perturbations, but I promise to work (or rather not work) on it.... If someone succeeds in reducing noise to such level that his reactions occur only on extrapolating beyond the state of complete equilibrium of his body, he might just die out of boredom before gathering the will to do something (about it).... And then, I guess Kapil Sibbal will finally have the opportunity to provide every one of us with summer activities that pay good, and that too without causing any stress, maybe holiday to Goa, etc.... I wonder how will they fit reservation in this scenario...

So u see I am bored to the core, desperately waiting to meet my pals and party (although it just means some carrom, ice-cream, bakaiti and nightouts - ie if NDTV doesn't invites us >:D ).... U'll see more of me from now on.... Stay tuned..

P.S. - Title is borrowed from a very good friend's username, who took all the trouble to contact a lazy ass like me... Thank u, I had been thinking of contacting u, but my memory and online time are strictly out of phase... I hope u understand.... And u too :)

Dattebayo!!!

I had been meaning to write this for a very long time, and now, when I can't find an excuse not to, my wicked self has finally adulterated a few neurons, so that my ego and twisted attitude forces me to unveil my curiosity... I know, everything is possible for those who do not have to do it themselves... Not being veteran, I ask this from those who are/were -  How is it like, to be "At Love"? I mean, everything is fair... but, there must be some catch.. Why do people even fall in love - n why is it always falling? It can't be good enough to risk the whole earth for it.... All the shit-faced uncle fuckers, who r jumpin' rite now, calling out in the name of family n friends, can just keep on pleasuring themselves their whole life... Right now, I am talking to those weirdos, who wear tight fitting colours, generally in all the wrong places, and even when they can fuck anyone on the planet, end up being Siths for petty little senseless "class/work mates"....

My third party observations suggest that love is a great equaliser... people tend to converge to the same hopeless, mediocre state of existence, denying all the cheesecakes and gpl they can get...based on a weighted average, love will fetch u in the order 10^5 per annum.... all the supremums and infimums converge... ie love is a cauchy sequence, ie differences should vanish as time passes....but this also means that love increases entropy of the system, brings it to worthless equilibrium, better than any constituition... ie love is spontaneous, as we know love is exothermic already.... but, it being so spontaneous, I am still not into it.... well, i've always tried to obey the rules, but this one just isn't my cup o' tea... does it imply I am already deranged, and thus a partner for me ain't the optimum soln, specially in the skewed society that I live in... But, brief overview of my peer group, coupled with scrutiny of numerous foreign research material like 3.1415926..., 21, etc, I safely infer that this is a Game... and, leaving the irrelevant test cases (both to me, n the society..), all we are left is with a compromise between short-lived passion n long-lasting happiness....

I am so sure that sex is an over-rated phenomena.... I may not be qualified enough to explain thoroughly, but as much as I have seen this life, there is no scope at all for any invention/discovery, of course except people like Srinivas (who can do a PhD n yet remain aloof) who write papers, n more people like Srinivas who publish it.... the g-spot is a vague, or probably psychological concept (Yes, there r people who r still searching...), and clitoris isn't the solution for world hunger, or global warming.... It may be quite the contrary... Sure I am that this is a ploy, worse than reservation, of cleaning the path to success by infiltrating our camps, befriending and corrupting the brave soldiers of destiny, and to stop the fellowship at any cost.... Just like vampires, the infiltration is so deep, that like masons, we, the hopes of the new world, have begun doubting our comrades, ourselves, even our faith, and dreams, and slowly succumbing to our little John, our foundations are shaking..... I have been over it so many times, that presently, biggest incentive to get laid is verification of this hypothesis.... I have seen enough laboratories, to know that I am better of with theory, without entering even one of those.... Many of them are already in bad shape, and the well maintained ones are either always filled, have prior engagements, and in any case, are very slimy, leaking, senseless, and need I mention, horribly GROSS... So, this is a request, all the experienced INTELLIGENTLEMAN (if any), this is a public survey directed towards a very specific social group... lower ur input resistance, let B --> 0.... This is also to wake up the great many "futures" of great many houses, the winners, who have fallen and have/will realize the pointlessness and the despair, reconsider!!! And, if not, atleast bring some exclusive and intelligent stuff, something delightful and Cranium-worthy... I am not saying anything, I am just asking "WHY?"...
All hail Calvitman...