Scientific Journalism is a very exciting field, specially for people interested in science, but coming from a non-science background... In fact, without such guys, there wont be any excitement and the intriguing gap between science fiction and reality will show up... Till now, weak philisophical arguments like Anthropological Principle, or Copenhagen Interpretation have been used to explain the observed strength of Scientific-Journalism, and it has various names in various civilizations like Satan, Force, etc. Over the course of history, it has developed a religious stature, and has many devoted followers. The extent of the influence can be compared to Illuminati and the free Masons (it may be same as them); BBC, Discovery, etc and will continue to grow under great religious leaders and proponents like Rajnikant, Brian Greene, Michio Kaku, etc... I've researched pretty deep into the area, and after comparing each such report with textbook accounts, observing detailed HD videos, and I have found the Holy Grail of Scientific Journalism, which has been a mystery ever since the Prokaryotes appeared on Terra... I'll explain vital points through a thoroughly researched example, made with help of experts in my excellent unary team (from IITD)... Without any further ado, let me begin my Tryst with Scientific Journalism...
Poison running in our veins
According to a recent study by a group of researchers at IIT-Delhi, there has been a startling discovery about a supposedly harmless chemical named Dihydrogen Oxide. This is a fairly abundant species in our biosphere, but its harmful effects have never been studied in such detail, probably due to lack of adequate technology, and general lack of funding. It appears, in addition of causing global warming in gaseous state, it also supports production of other greenhouse gases like methane as a liquid medium. One of the major components of all alcoholic beverages, it is also a carrier of diseases like cholera, diarrhea, typhoid, hepatitis, etc. It is also known for its energy storing properties, being the most common fire-extinguisher, and also used in fuel cells, as well as first aid for skin burns.In solid form, it is used during 3rd degree torture and cooling beverages, and is an industrial coolant including nuclear power plants.
In household supply, its concentration is about 0.055 mole/ml, and the refreshing properties of a bath are supposedly attributed to this compound. "There have been speculations about its side effects, so we have reduced our bathing frequency in all the IITs" said a 2nd year student from IIT - Delhi, who also believes that people in all engineering colleges were aware of these effects long before the research. This is also the reason increasing affinity towards alcohol. A friend Sri (false name) said, "I've conditioned myself to drinking NEAT, to avoid ingesting even the slightest amount of this dreadful chemical." And then he vomitted out all the mess food, which is cooked in the water that comes from supply. "He is very sensitive to chemicals, and this happens once in a while." added his friend, who himself fainted next. Humanities department find it hard to believe that no one noticed it till now, and is planning to file an RTI, or may also go for a Satyagraha.
When senior scientists were asked for opinion, they all replied, "If you want to live, you better shut up." On condition of anonymity, Prof. X revealed that due to high availability and cheap recycling, dihydrogen oxide has been a major component of human diet since ancient civilizations came into existence. After more detailed studies by Sir Humphrey Davy, all the governments made a pact to never record or reveal this fact, and started using alcohol to reduce the effects on themselves. This is also the reason for high taxes on alcoholic products, as well as presence of alcoholic base in medicines. Our body has been habituated to the compund so much that, although it has to be injested, biomagnification has led to much more than 10% concentration in our bloodstream and body fluids. The colour of our planet as seen from space is also due to this highly versatile compund, which has about 10 phases known, and is impossible to remove from our biosystem......BANG...tn... tn... tn..." With this our telephonic conversation ended so we could not know more.
But the group is hopeful about finding a remedy soon. Ethanol is known to mix in it in all volumes, and can thus be excreted out from our body. Also, ethanol can serve as a substitute to dihydrogen oxide as a solvent, and a coolant. It has been suggested that everyday dosage of 100ml 100 proof ethanol content can improve social interactions, and also helps in reducing fear and anxiety.
More on this next time...
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As you can see, this article contains all the major contents of a scientific article by a journalist. Scientific Journalism shows us only the truth, exposes all the conspiracies, and also lets out the anarchy spread throughout the society. Sadly, some curious people who get inspired by Scientific articles, turn to trusted sources of learning more, thereby causing a knowledge imbalance, and get deluded into criticizing Scientific Journalism. But, they should know that answers to all the problems like Dark Energy, Teleportation, Time Travel, even Theory of Everything, etc already exist and have been hidden from the society. It is not because our understanding is limited, but because a wizard alien (most probably Bert) in the independence hall is trying to turn all worthy man into having sex with more than one woman, meanwhile his comrades are on their way to capture our planet and turns us into smurf-berried that could power the matrix... Get REAL!!!
© Mehul Kumar
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